Monday, September 8, 2008

Man Rules

I just found this on Jad's thoughts and even though I don't agree with all of it, it is funny :

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious! hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default setting!
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.


Anonymous said...

How about sleeping in the basement, on the floor, on broken glass and razorwire....?

PH said...

If it makes you feel better .... ok I guess :D :))

Anonymous said...

I wasn't talking of me sleeping there....

ibeebarbie said...

Salam PH,

Pretty funny and not too far off. ;-)

PH said...

@ Mel :

I know, I was saying that I wouldn't mind sleeping in the basement, on the floor, on broken glass and razorwire if it would make you feel better ;).

@ ibee :

yes some of it isn't that far off; but not all of it us men aren't that evil :P.


Anonymous said...

There's a catch somewhere.
You are too willing to do that. :P

on the edge said...

"Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we."

Ummmm ... well just maybe once in a while ???? LOL !Moe could get lost in a paper bag , lol !

Anonymous said...

Anyway, Columbus did get lost. Big time.

PH said...

I wouldn't say got lost .... I mean he just bumped into North America, to be fair nobody knew it existed so if it wasn't there he would have reached his destination. In retrospect even when the map is wrong we don't get lost; we still find our way :P.

Anonymous said...

Just geographically challenged, not lost, eh?

PH said...

well everyone was geographically challenged about the US then, both men and women :P.

Anonymous said...

Have just recently discovered your blog. Thanks for this 'enlightening' post, and for making me laugh today!

PH said...

You are welcome :)